The sexual desire – or the lack there of
When does sexual desire begin?
The sexual desire or the lack there of is there for life. From the time we are born – and perhaps sooner than that – and till we shut down. It is conscious and visible, and it is unconscious. It’s in day dreams and in night as well At this point, all people are alike, even though we are different in many other respects.
The sexual desire or the lack thereof is a clock-operation and clock power, which is necessary to sustain life. Operation must be made just as thirst and hunger and the fresh air to the lungs. The sexual desire or the lack there and activity is thus a natural part of life and individual lives.
Although sexuality is placed in every human being, shine it does not always matter through. We are designed differently, and our appetite for life, self-expression and sex also differs from person to person. It has nothing to do with the individual’s personality. And it can be characterized by different upbringing or events in life.
Even the smallest children have a sexual urge, as they come in meeting and satisfying differently, unconscious way. They are curious and looking at pee pee men and women together. Through childhood growing craving and desire still and proves by deliberately sexual expression or play with masturbation. The sprouting already in the first years of school, where boys and girls are becoming more aware of their gender differences and behave more and more like their idols: the adults. Girls decorate themselves, jewelery itself, painter himself. Boys are also vain – but in a man shape.
During puberty changes sexuality in nature and will focus more on direct sexual expression, sexual activity, stimulation and release. That’s fine and natural. But the desire for sexual expression developed not just early and quickly at all. There are both girls and boys who are sexually active already in early puberty, while others will mature to the point many years later.
The time of the first sexual intercourse is despite the increasing boldness and openness between the sexes not changed much, girls are physically a little earlier developed than boys, but not for the reason automatically more need for sexual contact than their peers boy buddies. Yet come the girls usually a little earlier in the process of sexual life than boys – driven by wild infatuations – and their first boyfriend is often no older than themselves.
Why the lack of desire?
Even if it’s just a natural part of your life, then you and everyone else – both young and old – allowed to be really happy and satisfied with your sex life. I enjoy it and will not do without it.
But there may be days or periods in life when your sex drive decreases or disappears. It can also be quite natural. Even if the desire is perhaps greatest in the early years and slowly declines throughout life, there is actually no running at full steam for the last day. Other swings a little more. Are you a little down, it’s just a matter of time. So you want to climb up again. The desire will always drive you and can come at any time and of itself. Or because you are aroused by something you hear, smell, read or see – for example, pictures and movies. Heating, loving situations can also develop into sex.
Most are able to dampen sexual desire, if it is a little inconvenient, and you do not have one to share it with. But if it rumbles on, so is sex on their own a healthy and natural way, then you fall a little back down to earth.
And there are no rules for how often you should have sex. There is no real difference between men and women in this regard. There are those who need the trigger several times each day – for others it may take weeks in between. But in a relationship is a balance of course good for both parties.
Sex is in the brain and the heart, although it is the abdomen, which gives the sensation. Sex has something to do with hormones to make, but it is rare for lack of libido solely due to lack of hormones. So neither syringes, tablets or suppositories help here, unless you are absolutely at the bottom. In return, sex surplus of energy and mood. And your sex life also requires that you love, love, or at least love and respect, you go to bed with. If the heart and brain are not included, it becomes easy a cold and dreary place.
Lack of sex drive can be quite natural, but it is sad for those who experience it – and still want to. “It tells me nothing”, you might say – and then: “There must be done”. “Yes” is the answer!
Is there a difference between men and women?
When it comes to sex, men and women are probably not so different design, but the desire is often differently expressed. Let us take an example: The man can get tired and småsur home from work, blunt the front of the TV for the last news has stunned him half and then live tremendously up in 10 minutes when he is in bed with the wife, get it over with and sleep safe and dreams solved afterwards. The woman on the other hand may have in the same situation it difficult to establish themselves in the role of super lover from time. 23.13 to 23.31 and then end. The desire for sex, she requires a little more of the partner than whiz-bang sex. She discouraging both here and now and in general.
In this situation it is apparently only one who does not want, and then it is also she who must be something wrong with that. She is cold or frigid, he says. But it is of course nonsense. And they know it probably is good both deep inside. If your sex life is about to stall, it is something both parties are responsible.
How to get the urge again?
Desire and ability to sex are two different things, although of course they also belong together. If we initially seem desire rest, and it alone is about ability, you have the opportunity to check yourself in the area.
“Ability” means that you are physically and mechanically to function sexually. Although the desire belongs, so you may well outside the control your ability to have sex on their own.
If you are a woman in doubt, try it out. Maybe it’s something you have to pull yourself together – but try anyway. By masturbation in one way or another you will experience delightful sexual tension and sensations in the abdomen, feel that sex at the clitoris swells and you will damp the vagina and crotch. If you then know you orgasm. If you are on the way find that you can get at least self-confidence when it comes to sex. So there is nothing wrong with you.
For a man is the same: to note that you can still get an erection, tension and release as before. If you are on the way’ve found that you physically still works – at least on their own, so it is time to address the perhaps bigger problem: to find out where “desire” has been hiding.
However, if you experience problems with the physical part of your sex life, consider a check with the doctor, so you can get to know if there is an explanation for it.
But let’s assume that you operate normally with sex, if it suits you, but then the desire is lacking. Yes, then used force to pull it up from the depths, if it suits you, and you feel you need it.
Mechanical sex without a heart and feelings is a matter for themselves. Let it now be. What you’re missing is the desire for sex in general and especially compared to the one you love. There is therefore a matter between two people who are related to each other in all sorts of relationships in life, but sex life is not working – or is stalled. And what do you do?
First and foremost, it is a good idea that I have talked to each other about it in the open tranquility – and maybe find out what it takes to correct the problem. The story of bad habits in daily life is an example that reflects the fact that at least one party has forgotten that a cohabitation also with sex requires mutual awareness and respect. And maybe it’s just little things that need to before you both might get fancy and pleasure from sex, so cohabitation is up and running.
You must both recognize that each of you has your share of responsibility for the sex life has stalled. I have both – each – say to yourself: What’s wrong with me? And what is it that I’m tired of him / her? In other words: Try to get to the core, give concessions and try to understand. Also be prepared to sacrifice anything to get your sex life to work again.
It is not you alone – or the other – there is something wrong with that. If love and the desire to live together still there, follow the rest of if I together do something about it. But if love is dead, so is the desire it enough too.
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